Day 4 Support Circles - Capture Your Grief

 

MY support circle -

My husband

My sisters

My FB IF Circle of Ladies

Ladies from a bible study that I became close to.

Ladies who have been there before.



I was not big into going to a support group where I have to listen to everyone talk.  Not my gig.

I didn't find support in the "online" support groups, like I thought I might have. The focus was not around the right reasons. People in the groups I tried focused on lawsuits, and wanting advice on suing people for their loss.

Capture Your Grief

 

I am going to try my hand at the 31 days of this.




October 2nd is Andrew's birthday. I haven't known what to do. We have the standard things like a mass for him, which is a Sunday this year, coincidentally the mass is also being said for a dear friends father who passed away 2 months ago. ( bring the Kleenex )   3 years without Andrew. He would have been starting pre-school.




October being Infant/ Pregnancy loss Awareness month, is so hard, when it's also a remembrance month of a loss too.

Being real

Okay, because I can be honest with you all. 

In order to maintain a healthy level of sleep in our house. I was primarily sleeping in the recliner with Lizzie in the beginning--only because that's where we both fell asleep -- and she slept. It was close to the kitchen to make bottles every 2 hours. 

Then she started nursing and we tried the crib again, but with getting up3-4 times a night and nursing 30-45 mins at a time. I was exhausted(again) . So one night in a bit of exhaustion I opened the pullout bed from the couch, and layed down and side nursed her. I had my probably second night with a 4 Hr stretch of sleep since she was born. Heaven. 

I  put it away in the morning. Then the next night it got opened again, by day 3 I didn't put it away in the morning, and she was consistently sleepin in 4-5 hour stretches. The 2nd week of sleeping like this, I had to return to work, so I needed my sleep. So it kinda became a bad habit. 

Hubs was not supportive at first, because all the "stuff" said it isn't safe. I said great !  So for a short bit, I started being noisy each time she woke up in the night. After a couple of days of his crappy sleep , we had a talk. I said I get I'm the one equipped to feed her at night, but we will all sleep good, if she can co-sleep. Still not sold -- we kept sleeping on the pullout. Some days when hubs leaves for work, we move to the Mommy and daddy bed. (It's just so comfy).  I've tried a few weekends to slip into the M&D bed. Hubs would end up leaving saying Lizzie was loud, or he was afraid he would roll on her.

So today I came home to hubs putting the pullout away. When he went to bed ( he's up early so he goes to sleep way earlier than us) he gave us a kiss, and said just please give me a head start to sleep & for US to join him there.  Baby steps !

Eventually she will get crib trained, for now, sleep is key, so gotta do what ya gotta do. 

In explaining why co-sleeping seems natural. --

My younger sister is 16 years younger than I. When she could crawl, she would make her way into anyone's bed and curl up with them, she never slept on her own ( warm body I guess )  at that time we were on a twin bed. So having anything bigger seems roomy. 

 

Also a side sleeper. No blankets or pillows nearby . 

3 mos check up

Lizzie had her 3 mos checkup. 

She weighed in at 9lb 1 oz.   21 3/4 in  and 15" head circumference.  She's still our little peanut. Which is fine with us. She will get good use out of all her 3 mos clothes for a while. 

She is very much a morning person ( but has to have her time to stretch and wake up) she is a very happy baby in the morning. 

She is "talking" to us . 

Her eyes are brown now, and her hair looks more and more auburn everyday. Her eyebrows are very light @ she has super long lashes. 

She definitely has developed a little personality. 

She likes going to morning mass. She is quiet and loves having the one on one time with mama before she goes to grandmas for the day. We also love having the time to nurse and pray for others in a sacred space. 

She will take a bottle from anyone! But as soon as she sees mom, she wants mama milk. 

She loves to stand, however all the apparatus for that are way to big for her. So she settles with standing practice with daddy. 

She's fond of the bumbo too!!

Hers a few pics to tide you over 

 

 

 

 

 

Baptism pt 1

Elizabeth Sarah was welcomed into the Catholic Church by the waters of Baptism over the weekend. 

I cannot take credit for any photos as I was holding Lizzie. We gave our nice camera to someone to snap pics, but be honest I haven't had the opportunity to download them (yet). So for now, it's all pictures hijacked from those in attendance. 

 

Fr. Mark had all the littles in attendance bless the water. There were a gaggle of them, the picture only shows a 1/3 of them

 

Dad, Mom, Elizabeth, Godmother (Aunt K) , Godfather (Uncle N) 

Don't mind the weirdness of my hand, I have to support the Right hand still as the tendinitis is still flaring up. Her dress was super slippery and I was so afraid of losing grip of her . 

Daddy holding her while getting the oil on her chest. 

 

 She was standing on the offertory table. She wanted to see everyone. 

More to come