Why do you blog?

This was an interesting question you husband asked this week.

 

So I thought for a few.

 

I blog to tell my story, to tell the Truth, I am not a fiction writer, never have! I wish some of the things I've had to write about were fiction, but unfortunately not.

 

I feel that writing it out is better for me, than telling it to someone who doesn't care, or uninterested.

 

I do not write here to make money, nor do I have perfect grammar.

 

I am sorry to disappoint anyone that is looking for a good fiction story teller, but you stumbled on the wrong blog.

Memorial Day.

 A month or so ago I received a package. 

It had a blank customs declarations  form on it.  It was post marked several weeks before. When I opened the box it had a smell I will never forget. The mix of sand, grit, sweat, tears, fear and determination. 

As I pulled out the contents; 1 neatly folded American flag and 1 weathered 2 pocket folder. The folder contained a letter.  Thanking me for the packages I sent to their troops. 

This flag has flown over a U.S. Base in an undisclosed location. It has been looked upon day and night by thousands  of service men and women. It serves as a symbol of our patriotism and reminds us of why we volunteer to serve our nation. Like our members here it has endured temperatures, dust and humidity resulting in it becoming torn and tattered, because of this it has been retired. I ask that you care for this symbol as you have cared for the men and women here. 

To honor with dignity. 

I have yet to find a case for it. I will display it next to my dads folded casket flag. 

To honor with dignity. So many meanings in this phrase. I know not just anyone receives one of these. I was sent this after David's loss. In my sleepless nights, I communicated with my cousin deployed in the undisclosed location. Not a man of many words, but To honor with dignity will stick with me for a while. 

Today, I pray for those who won't make it home, from overseas, and are head to their eternal home. 

I also want to thank those who serve our country with honor and dignity. 

Busy blogger

I apologize for the long time since the last post. Things get super busy this time of year. There are never enough hours in the day, or days in the week. 

So how about some pictures of what's been going on, it'll be easier. 

After my last dr appt, I went shopping for plants. 

Those plants turned into these pots

And 

So the first pots were delivered several weeks ago and look like this currently 

They like their home. 

There was another trip to the plant nursery after work one evening. 

Some have made it in the ground on following evenings 

And when it gets dark, I've been working one nieces 2nd birthday gift. Sorry MacK it won't arrive on time. 

Letters A I & P from her alphabet picture book. With love from Michigan. 

So much to do, spent Saturday of the holiday weekend working in our yard. Weeding, and trimming and weeding

On the Sunday project list

May 13 + 9 years

9 Years ago today, I married my best friend. Here are some of my favorite pictures from the day. 

 

 

 

Wedding Invitation, our rings, my bouquet and the toss boquet. We had a movie themed reception.

 

 

 

Love the stained glass windows of the church. Also notice how the photographer, angled it to picture a cross in the windows.

My siblings..

 

Now husband & wife.

 

 

cutting the cake.. We had a huge dessert table for everyone to nosh on.
We didn't share "our" cake with the guests.They did have other cake options.

 

 

This was the last picture of the night.

 

 Some things about our day. It rained the entire day, wet soppy rain. This last picture was the only one outside. The church has beautifully manicured grounds ( they know the best landscaper). We couldn't take any outside.   So all our pictures are inside.  My hair was going to be done differently, but the rain, was not having it.

We got married on Mothers Day weekend. Flowers are super expensive that week. So the lady who does the flowers at the church did the flowers for our wedding & reception. I was very non-specific about what I wanted, which helped our budget. We gave her a list of flowers we didn't like. I told her what everyone was wearing; and let her run with it. She didn't disappoint. I don't think I have an easy to replicate bouquet. My husband's boutonniere flower was lily of the valley, which are only in season one week a year; we got lucky that it was blooming that week ( later in the evening he switched to a rose, because of all the dancing, we knew the lilies would get smushed) I still have his wedding flowers.

 

We were the third wedding of four in hubs family in six months. We went very non-traditional wanting something different. We had cake for us to cut, but no-one but us got to eat it. Everyone had an enormous dessert/sweet table to nosh on; it had: cheesecake, cupcakes, brownies, tarts, fruit, chocolate dipped strawberries, truffles, etc.  We had the reception in our churches nice hall, so we were allowed to bring in our own liquor, so we had dessert liquors and chocolate serving cups. We had about 45 kids at our reception ( yes ). We opted to hire some nannies for the evening & put all the kids in a room adjacent to the hall, gave the parents a dinner to themselves. The kids were entertained with crafts, movies, a clown/magician/balloon artist, games, and kiddie menu. When the adult dinner was done and dancing started, the door was opened; some kids joined us on the dancefloor, and some hung out watching movies til the night was over.

 

With our "movie" theme reception, we had a "red carpet" and some celebrities with us for the evening.  Not wanting to hire impersonators, we bought, life size cardboard celebrites, that were around the room; guests really got into it & were taking pictures with them. ( think of the days before photo-booths at weddings )  We also had popcorn, and movie candies too.

 

What we learned from the day ( rain , etc ). Not everything will go as planned, but as long as we have each other, we will get thru it together.

 

May you always have enough happiness to keep you sweet,

trials to keep you strong,

success to make you eager,

friends to give you comfort,

wealth to meet your needs,

enthusiasm to look for tomorrow,

 and a growing love to make each day better than the day before.  

Napro appt update.

I met Dr. Bazger today. She is a Napro trained fellow. I should explain a fellow has studied a year after residency, at PPVI, under the wings of the Institutes leadership. The other type of doctors who practice Napro are medical consultants(mc). They go thru a two week intensive training. MC ' S are often ob/gyn's,  but any kind of doctor,  or physician assistant, can become a MC.

Some of you know, I've already seen, another napro doctor. I don't discredit anything he has done, nor think their is anything wrong with him. Just when I need help now, he has a four month wait, he is also long distance.  His protocol enabled me to get pregnant. 

So the purpose of my visit to dr. Bazger was to see what Napro can uncover for my recurrent losses. She is new to my area, but native to the area. I have prayed for many of 9 years of infertility, for a Napro doctor to come here,  or a current doctor go to mc training. So I bit the bullet and made the appointment,  I was hesitant.  I didn't want to offend my current ob. As you can see from the prior post, he was very supportive of me seeing her.

The advantage of her being in the same hospital, "should" be that she can access all my medical records electronically.  I found out the day before my appointment,  that she wanted all my files in paper form. I however, was  not going to chop down a tree to do this. I wrote a time line of all major events and results that had been relayed to me. This short timeline, ended up being 2 pages. 

She started the appt by asking if was related to ( ends up it was my father in law). Explained the relationship and it was not mentioned again.  She read thru my time line and asked a few questions. She typed very quickly into her royal blue laptop.  She was dressed in light blue scrubs, and her hair was pulled back. She did not make much eye contact,  but was deep in thought.  

She brought up our genetic testing. (We did 23&me at the suggestion of someone in the st gerard group.) She wants us to see the geneticist, who is affiliated with our mfm.  She wants them to dig into some MTHR mutations, and the mutation for thrombophilia, and a genetic issue with people of Jewish decent. She said she doesnt  know enough to make a definite answer on her own. 

She said keep up with the protocol meds/diet. New plan if/when I become pregnant. She wants me start PIO injections right away. She wants progesterone testing every other week. She said they may adjust the dosage as needed. There will likely be other things, based on the geneticists visit. She wants them to do karotyping.

Overall a good visit.  She is not a doctor,  that I would see kicking my but in gear like the other doctors I've seen.  She appears much more passive than I am used to. When she asked me questions, she was able to do them in non doctor speak. I could tell the wheels were turning in her head. 

I've decided when I'm ready for a career change.  I'm going to run a doctors office. The front office, I was not so fond of. I have high standards, and set the standards high for office staff. I consider it the mfm standard ( my mfm office ladies are super)

+PEACE+

Quickie 2

So I mentioned in my Quickie post, that I was anxious about telling my wonderful OB about  my NaPro consult...

Well while under the influence of some cold meds, I e-mailed him today..

My e-mail to him, went something like: I don't want you to be caught off guard or blindside you, but I am going for a consult and a consult only to Dr. XXXX. I said it will help me have piece of mind. I thought it was fair, since they work at the same hospital & same depts and both same pro-life circles.

A couple hours later I got a nice note back: 

Lucky,
Dr. XXXX is very  smart, I know her personally. Any insight she can provide  would be welcome. I hope you have an informative & productive consult.  Let me know if I can help  or if she wants me to personally send over any information.
Thinking of you often & keeping hope for good news. God Bless.
Dr. Awesome

I can now rest !!

I was a little stressed about him finding out.. but now, I'm at ease. still have to finish my timeline of procedures for my appt, but found out, their patient portal won't allow me to send a file.. just a 200 word or less note..  So.. it will come with me on Friday.

+Peace+

Quickie update.

Well today is CD1..

I really, really thought I might have been pregnant.. but hey.. progesterone fools many of us. One of the only reasons I thought I might have been, was getting up in the middle of the night for the bathroom.. first sign for me... but Wham.. no.. It's just a sinus cold that started today..  on top of CD1.

This Friday, I could use positive thoughts and prayers. I am going to see a new NaPro doctor... She's new to our area.  When I found it was going to take several months to get in and see the out of state NaPro doctor I last saw & who has advised on my last 2 pregnancies..  I did the big pro-con game of new NaPro fellow  or Omaha.

On the Pro side it's getting me a day off from work. I have a early morning appointment. When I called this new Dr. to schedule an appt. I was offered an appt the next day.. WOW.. It was a cancellation..but seriously..   I might have taken it, but I had training scheduled. Today.. was my second choice given to me.. but training won out again.. ( I am now very proficient in Vlookups & pivot tables )..  So Friday, was the 3rd option offered to me. 

On the Pro side, shes in the same hospital network, so no big request for records.. She can access it all on their chart system. ( still working on my "why I want a consultation letter' that I need to send tomorrow..

Pro, She's a fellow.  She's close, only will require an automobile to see her. Not planes, trains and automobiles.

Cons, new doctor again.. -- she will be the 5th doctor I've seen in this IF/loss journey. I dislike going thru the whole "history" thing.

Cons, her office doesn't have their act together. 

Cons, from personal recommendations of others, she's not the warm fuzzy doc, I'm used to.


My goals for the appointment: meet new doctor, see her recommendations for meds/vitamins, see her recommendations for multiple loss, see what she can tell from genome tests.

I won't be hearbroken if it doesn't meet my needs. I had planned on contacting PPVI; anyways.

For those that know of my sweet ob.. I do not intend on switching to her for OB. The MFM office; has already warned me that her office would drive me crazy if I used her for OB; they have warned me her staff is unbelievably unorganized. Again, she and my OB, and MFM are all affiliated with the same hospital system. At some point I will tell my OB that I went to her for a  consult.. Anyone want to tell him for me.. He will totally understand.. it is just an anxiety to me to tell him.. I feel as though I'm almost "cheating" on my doctor. I'm going to try & go to church before my appointment, that will hopefully help with my anxiety.


If you could keep me in your prayers Friday morning, as I venture this..

Update: I just received a portal message back from the NaPro doctor, informing me I should bring "ALL" my records with me printed on paper, in chronological order, by type of procedure. I guess this is not going to go so well, cuz I'm not printing everything out.  Oh well.. I'm not paying $2 a page to print out from her hospital system.

Are you a superhero ?

"It takes invincible strength to mother a child you can no longer hold, see, touch or hear. You are a superhero mama. I see you fall down and get up, fall down and get up, over and over again. I notice the grit and guts it takes to pry yourself out of bed every single day and force your bloodied feet to stand up and keep walking. I see you walking this path of life you’ve been given where every breath and step apart from your child is a physical, emotional and spiritual battleground. A fight for your own survival. A fight to quiet the insidious lies.
But the truth is, you haven’t failed at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
You are the mother of all mothers." -- Angela Miller

For some of us today is Mothers Day.

Today, is when some of us celebrate Mothers Day. For a lack of better wording.

As you celebrate next weekend, know it is a very difficult day for many of us.



Both of our mothers will be out of town next weekend, so we have the opportunity to not have to pretend that we are happy on that day.. We can just sit home and chill.


+Peace+