20 Days

Jan 1 - Jan 20 are days.. I'd like to not repeat. This year has been to a bad and ugly start. So if we can do a refresh, I'd like to start day 21 with a fresh attitude , fresh mind, fresh heart.

One of the ladies at work is back, the other is back (working from home), the co-worker who is really sick, won't be back for a while. She loved, that I made her homemade food & took it to her last weekend.. she said most thoughtful thing anyone has done for her. I wish I lived closer, that I could do it everyday.. or every couple of days, cuz having something homecooked, makes someone feel comfy & get better. I need to figure out something I can do long distance, cuz she is getting super depressed (not able to leave the house) the weather here is going to get terribly cold again.. below zero daytime highs. More Polar Vortex temps. She can't breathe well, so the cold just makes it worse.

The new stressor! I realize we have to take care of our older generations.. but I have 2 above me to take care of.. My grandma is in her middle 80's. My husband & I take care of most all little things around her house ( well big things too ) so every time it snows, I go over & shovel, cut her lawn, etc. Now my uncle & my mom are becoming more needy at their ages. So apparently being the oldest, is not all peaches and roses. So now I have to become the guardian(for lack of better words) for my uncle. Well make sure his bills get paid, he can take care of himself, he's just kinda like crazy uncle si from D.Dynasty..

Oh yeah, that big meeting, the planning is getting ramped up this week too..


I'm just thinking of warm sandy beaches to relax my mind.

Not doing well.

I am anxiety ridden.

Work!!

TTC ( or lack thereof)

Family drama!!

I am ready for a break, I thought I was going to get one. I was soo looking forward to a business trip to Florida. Found out this week, I won't get to go, but I have to do all the planning for everyone else going.  I am doing triple duty at work. Co-worker 1 got out of the hospital, can't return for 90 days, so I'll be doing most all her work, which includes, planning 3 different meetings/shows, one of which is HUGE. 5-day event, where all our employees gather.  Did I mention it's in 10 weeks. Yep somehow got to pull that out of a magic hat soon.  Co-worker #2 's elderly mom is not doing well, she lives 4 hours from here, she had to leave unexpectedly, she won't be back for another 2 weeks. Co-worker #3, who could help with #1's work, she's out too, her husband had back surgery, so she had to take a few days vacation to be with him & will be working from hoome for the next couple of weeks, to help him with dr. appt & his recovery. 

This week was my peak day.. Well it didn't get to get used, because of stupid snow storms. I've had it up to my eyeballs in snow this year.. and we are only 45 days into it. Have I mentioned my husband & I have only been in the bed at the same time like 3 nights in the last 25 days.. Crazy snow, crazy weather. We tried to go out tonight.. 1) to find some warm winter boots. I want to try them on, to find out really what size I need. Well needless to say, there are more bathing suits in the stores here than boots. Very annoying, apparetnly retail stores, are not intuned with our weather here. I've been to 4 stores & nothing resembling warm winter boots are left (sold out ) 2) go to dinner, amazing concept, we walked into a favorite place only to find it was a lot of other peoples favorite place tonight, with a 2 hour wait.. so that didn't happen. Leftovers again. I was bummed, cuz I had got lunch out this afternoon & the place totally botched my order, to the point, I couldn't eat it. So I was looking forward to a nice meal.

I fell today, flat on my back !! ICE has been horrible the last 2 days. The daytime temps have been getting warm enough to melt some of the 36" we have on the ground, so they melt & leave black ice & I hit one this morning, getting out of my SUV and almost slid under my car, I landed on my elbow.. Hurts really bad, but still moves. I iced it & took some motrin. knowing that I can't be prenant is good for the time being. Cuz tylenol would not cut this pain.

The moose drama continues.

I'm taking one day at a time here, but now am not sure, if TTC this next cycle is a good thing.. I feel my bodies cleared up & I don't want it to revert to it's old ways, but I know that the next 2-3 months are going to be super busy & if it's good for me to go thru that.. Decisions, Decisions..

Wasn't meant to happen today.

I don't think it was meant to happen, well, at least not today.

I accidentally fell into F.acebook today, and I thought I can be a big girl.

When I say I fell into it, I was asked by my husband to write something on our business FB page. I am the admin, so is he, but instead of hacking his account, to write it, since i've been away from FB, I accidentally typed my name/password..& bingo/bango. I'm back in just like that. So since it's been a few weeks, I thought I would peruse the FB land. I was dying to know what's been going on in the St. Gerard IF group. It killz me to no end to be away from it & not have that valuable resource, sounding board, etc. , because some most days, those are the peeps who keep me sain! I was hoping there would be some big announcement by someone in the group, since we novena'd up a storm in December. Ok, the group was the least of my worries.

deleted for privacy.

I've realized with mooses, they say it's about Christmas, but really to them it's about one-uping each other on gifts, especially to the parents. I'm really sick of playing the childhood games, and don't choose to participate in that stuff anymore.

Making it thru Day 1 ( back to work)

DH & I had a long talk about anxiety meds, he asked me to try to do it without anything, but if I truly needed something, then I could. Happy to say. I took my time this morning. I didn't rush! Packed my home office. Drove to the office. Made it in the office & I survived, without the meds. I realize this is not possible for everyone, we took our time & practiced some hypno-breathing, for the stressing points.

The first person that asked me WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?  I just politely said working at home.
This same person had a whole host of other questions, to which I responded, when I am ready to tell you I will, but I am not ready now.

I don't sound " Better" to the guys in the office, cuz I have a sinus cold.( you know the kind, stuffy nose, running nose, watery eyes, thankfully  no sore throat)  To which I just laugh & say I was much worse.. guys are ignorant & just say.. hmmmm.. 

I made it !! One day at a time.. One step at a time...