In order to maintain a healthy level of sleep in our house. I was primarily sleeping in the recliner with Lizzie in the beginning--only because that's where we both fell asleep -- and she slept. It was close to the kitchen to make bottles every 2 hours.
Then she started nursing and we tried the crib again, but with getting up3-4 times a night and nursing 30-45 mins at a time. I was exhausted(again) . So one night in a bit of exhaustion I opened the pullout bed from the couch, and layed down and side nursed her. I had my probably second night with a 4 Hr stretch of sleep since she was born. Heaven.
I put it away in the morning. Then the next night it got opened again, by day 3 I didn't put it away in the morning, and she was consistently sleepin in 4-5 hour stretches. The 2nd week of sleeping like this, I had to return to work, so I needed my sleep. So it kinda became a bad habit.
Hubs was not supportive at first, because all the "stuff" said it isn't safe. I said great ! So for a short bit, I started being noisy each time she woke up in the night. After a couple of days of his crappy sleep , we had a talk. I said I get I'm the one equipped to feed her at night, but we will all sleep good, if she can co-sleep. Still not sold -- we kept sleeping on the pullout. Some days when hubs leaves for work, we move to the Mommy and daddy bed. (It's just so comfy). I've tried a few weekends to slip into the M&D bed. Hubs would end up leaving saying Lizzie was loud, or he was afraid he would roll on her.
So today I came home to hubs putting the pullout away. When he went to bed ( he's up early so he goes to sleep way earlier than us) he gave us a kiss, and said just please give me a head start to sleep & for US to join him there. Baby steps !
Eventually she will get crib trained, for now, sleep is key, so gotta do what ya gotta do.
In explaining why co-sleeping seems natural. --
My younger sister is 16 years younger than I. When she could crawl, she would make her way into anyone's bed and curl up with them, she never slept on her own ( warm body I guess ) at that time we were on a twin bed. So having anything bigger seems roomy.
Also a side sleeper. No blankets or pillows nearby .
I started cosleeping with my daughter for the very same reasons you did. Now she is two and I am more aware of some downsides of cosleeping. I had very hard time weaning her from night feeding since she was used to have free access to my breast all night long , still now she is refusing falling asleep by herself and she hardly uses the crib, and last but not least intimacy with my husband took a toll on the long run. In other words when she was little it was a good solution to gain some precious sleep but now I can see also some issues that I didn't considered at the time I started cosleeping.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the heads up. I don't think this will be a long term thing ( but again who knows )
DeleteOur babies coslept for a year and we all slept better. I think many more families cosleep than we know about. In most other cultures it's the norm! If it's working for you, great! Check out the dockatot. It's a bit pricey and they sell quickly once they are in stock (new to US from Europe) but we got one a few months ago and have loved it. It also gave us a way to cosleep without daddy rolling on baby. We've taken it with us on vacations and it is a familiar, safe bed for her.
ReplyDeleteI have seen the dockatot. I'm not sure how she would roll to me and eat when she wants -- which is what she does now.
DeleteWe co sleep too...for me to feel comfortable the key is to have separate blankets for hubby and i. No blanket sharing unless baby is in crib.
ReplyDeleteYes -- we definitely have separate blankets..
DeleteI have gone back and forth about this with my OWN mom because I felt guilty for doing it occasionally (never needed to do it with Ei). But in all honestly, Charlie usually winds up in our bed around 3-4 AM because it's the only way we can all get some sleep. My husband feels the same way you do, and even though I still wouldn't call myself a "cosleeping advocate," I do totally GET it. You're a great mama. Keep up the good work!!!
ReplyDeletethanks mama ! sleep is such a commodity.
DeleteCo-sleeping for breastfeeding mamas is totally normal and natural. They have even recently realized a study about it, which contradicts the modern ideas that poor babies should sleep away from their mamas and their good milk. Google "breastsleeping study"-they coined a new term for it. BFing mamas have a sixth sense for their baby. You're not going to roll on her. You probably notice her every snort and snuffle. Just use a co-sleeper or a bedside rail and keep her between you and the edge, not you and hubs, and be sensible about blankets. It's a special time to cherish with your little one, those hours of peaceful slumber and nighttime feeding together. I think it's sad to do you both out of that. If you're anything like me, you'll find when she (gradually! The transition out needs to be gentle!) sleeps alone, you'll both miss her presence and be somewhat relieved.
ReplyDeleteyes I hear every little sniffle, snuffle, and feel every movement, but still better sleep than getting up and having to sooth a crying baby.
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