St. Gianna Giveaway at .........

A beautiful Catholic blogger has launched a new blog today.

Catholic Working Mother

stop by and visit  her, you can enter to win a St. Gianna book.

First and buckets

It has been tough watching all the first communion photos. all the kids making first communion, we're the first children born to people,  who were married at the same time as us. We had a boom, in our families and friends, of weddings the year after we married. Most all had honeymoon babies. One is expecting #6. All have more than one, and none are in the same boat we are.

It's a very lonely boat to be in, one that's not even catching any fish. Nothing seems fruitful in this boat. None the same struggles as us.  They have their own struggles, big enough house, car, van.

For so long, we have always purchased a vehicle to accommodate,  the hopeful.  We sit here on the third, family size vehicle, with just 2 occupying it. Guess it's good, I just leased this one, in another year, it will be another big gamble, go big or go fun!!

I made a resolution,  to not live in the what "if" we become pregnant. I am determined to live in the moment. If preg happens,  I'll deal with the bumps, and ruts along the way, but I'm not going to put life on hold.

So we made a bucket lost of sorts for the warm weather. 

Attend an outdoor concert
Drive in movie
Picnic outside, heck maybe even sushi
More fishing,  who cares if we catch anything
Kayaking,  may require purchase of a kayak
Buy dock for cottage
Go to cottage, go when it's nice, instead of when it's good for everyone else's schedule. 
Plant a tree for our boys.
More work outside in our yard.
Beautify our space.
Walk to the cemetery. Maybe even run there.

Got anything on your bucket list for the summer.??

WIWS. 1st communion edition

WIWS. -- going to nieces first communion edition. 

 

Got my hair nice and straight. 

Even though it was super cold out, I still wore this super cute sun dress. Sorry hubs refuses to take pictures of me for the blog. So did what I could to get the details of the dress, which I wore with a white sweater & nude colored flats. 

Got a snap of hubs walking in with the first communicant.  She was gabbing away at him.  Her dad is no longer with us here on earth, so hubs and grandpa are the guys she sees most. 

I am the face of Infertility, Miscarriage and Stillbirth

I am the face of Infertility, Miscarriage and Stillbirth -repeat pregnancy loss

I'm Sorry

Four dreaded words any person hates to hear.

There is no heartbeat!

When you suffer infertility, it is even more devastating. Not only is the precious gift you finally conceived after years of hopes, dreams, and treatments that you have been carrying in your womb; not coming home with you. You are not certain if your body can get pregnant again.

My struggle to find the issues and combat the issues to get pregnant, took almost 6 years. I was soo excited to find out I was pregnant with Sam in the fall of 2012. Only to hear those dreaded words right before Christmas, there is no heartbeat. Tests were run, but no definitive cause of miscarriage was determined. We were given the okay to try again, when we were ready.

We used the same cocktail of vitamins and hormone pills; and six months later we found out I was expecting twins.. Double the blessings. Blessing turned into dismay at ten weeks we heard, I'm sorry, Baby B has no hearbeat.. Baby A ( Andrew) was growing fine. So once you have losses and you are over a certain age threshhold, you see the doctor a little bit more often.

Things seemed to be cruising along; being cautious in everything I did. No lifting, no extreme exercise, no sushi, no coffee. No ! No ! No! was all I heard. At 21 weeks, I had a funny sensation.. Couldn't be my water breaking, no it's too early is what they all said. Went to the L&D to get checked out. The on call doctor, told me nothing was wrong, and I should go home & relax for the rest of the day. The next morning things still felt funny, so I stayed home & called the doctor. Trying not to be that patient that called for every little thing that felt weird. Nicely he said come in and I'll check things out. Sadly that afternoon, the doppler was silent, and I heard those dreaded words: I'm sorry - there is no heartbeat. I was in disbelief, picking out cribs turned into, deciding on a funeral home to use, and where to bury our son.

We sought the opinion of some more doctors to see if there was a piece of the puzzle missing. No, sorry, we have no explanation.  So we are told to wait til we are mentally prepared to try again.

So 6 months later, we find out we are pregnant again. This time we take things one week at a time. Weeks turned into months, months turned into viability, then it turned into 37 weeks.  At 37 weeks and 4 days; I was devastated when I heard, I'm so very sorry, David has no heartbeat. The nurses and doctors know everything about me, except why my baby's heart stopped beating..

I see infertility for so many others this story of having surgery, fixing their issues, getting that magic cocktail, having the miraculous pregnancy annoucement, and going home with a living child. My story may never include the baby coming home from the hospital.

I always prayed to become pregnant. Maybe I didn't make it clear, that I wanted that child to come home with me. I now pray to get pregnant, and bring the baby home.

I pray that no woman has to go thru RPL ( recurrent pregnancy loss) it is a definite cross to bear. I see so many ladies not the same after 1, 2, or 3 losses.



 

We are blessed to have 4 boys, interceding for us in Heaven. One day we will be reunited with them. 
.

St. Gianna Pray For us

St. Gerard Pray For us


Saints: Sam, B, Andrew, and David Pray for us



My story is just one of many women sharing their story this week.  To read more on the faces of infertility please visit:  Melodys Harmonies

Infertility Awareness Week Part 2

So for part two, I would like to share some blogs, of people writing for IF week.


Wonderful series on IF .. check back each day.. for a new post..
Conceiving Hope


This month's Adopt a blogger ..
Tomato  not Potato  ( ha ha )



Tales from the Valley



Mommy Blogger guest posting about Infertility this week.
Mama Needs Coffee


Great post on Infertility resources
Melody Harmonies


IF event in DC area.
Ecce Fiat

Infertility Awareness Week. Pt 1

Infertility Awareness: A Catholic Perspective

National Infertility Awareness Week 2015

One in six couples will experience infertility at some point in their marriage. Infertility is medically defined as the inability to conceive after 12 cycles of “unprotected” intercourse or 6 cycles using “fertility-focused” intercourse. A couple who has never conceived has “primary infertility” and a couple who has conceived in the past (regardless of the outcome) but is unable to again has “secondary infertility”. Many couples who experience infertility have also experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, pregnancy, or infant loss.

This week, April 19 – 25, 2015 is National Infertility Awareness Week.

We, a group of Catholic women who have experienced infertility, would like to take a moment to share with you what the experience of infertility is like, share ways that you can be of support to a family member or friend, and share resources that are helpful.

If you are experiencing infertility, please know you are not alone. You are loved and prayed for and there are resources to help you with the spiritual, emotional, and medical aspects of this journey

The Experience of Infertility

In the beginning of trying to conceive a child, there is much hope and anticipation; for some, even a small fear of “what if we get pregnant right away?” There is planning of how to tell your husband and when you’d announce to the rest of the family. It is a joyful time that for most couples results in a positive pregnancy test within the first few months. However, for one in six couples, the months go by without a positive test and the fears and doubts begin to creep in. At the 6th month of trying using fertility-focused intercourse (using Natural Family Planning), the couple knows something is wrong and is considered “infertile” by doctors who understand the charting of a woman’s pattern of fertility. At the 9th month of trying, the month that, had they conceived that first month, a baby would have been arriving, is often the most painful of the early milestones. At the 12th month mark the couple “earns” the label from the mainstream medical community as “infertile”.

As the months go by, the hopes and dreams are replaced with fears, doubts, and the most invasive doctors’ appointments possible. As a Catholic couple faithful to the teachings of the Church, we are presented by secular doctors with options that are not options for us and are told things like “you’ll never have children” and “you have unexplained infertility”; by our Catholic doctors we are told to keep praying and to have hope as they roll up their sleeves and work hard to figure out the cause of our infertility, with each visit asking, “How are you and your husband doing with all of this?”

We find it hard to fit in. We have faith and values that are different than our secular culture, but our small families, whether childless (primary infertility) or with fewer children than we hoped for (secondary infertility), make us blend in with the norm. We have faith and values that are in line with the teachings of our Church, but our daily life looks so much different than the others who share those values and that makes us stand out in a way that we would rather not. We are Catholic husbands and wives living out our vocation fully. Our openness to life does not come in the form of children; it takes on the form of a quiet “no” or “not yet” or “maybe never” from God each month as we slowly trod along. Our openness to and respect for life courageously resists the temptations presented to us by the secular artificial reproductive technology industry.

Often times our friends and family do not know what to say to us, and so they choose to not say anything. Our infertility stands like a great big elephant in the room that separates us from others. Most of the time, we don’t want to talk about it, especially not in public or in group settings because it is painful and we will often shed tears. We realize it is difficult and ask that you realize this difficulty as well. We will do our best to be patient and to explain our situation to those who genuinely would like to know, but please respect our privacy and the boundaries we establish, as not only is infertility painful, it is also very personal.

One of the hardest experiences of infertility is that it is cyclical. Each month we get our hopes up as we try; we know what our due date would be as soon as we ovulate; we know how we would share the news with our husband and when and how we would tell our parents. We spend two weeks walking a fine line between hope and realism, between dreaming and despairing. When our next cycle begins – with cramps and bleeding and tears – we often only have a day or two before we must begin taking the medications that are meant to help us conceive. There is little to no time to mourn the dream that is once again not achievable; no time to truly allow ourselves to heal from one disappointment before we must begin hoping and trying again. We do not get to pick what days our hormones will plummet or how the medications we are often taking will affect us. We do not get to pick the day that would be “best” for us for our next cycle to start. We are at the mercy of hope, and while that hope keeps us going it is also what leaves us in tears when it is not realized.

Some will experience infertility with a complete lack of cycles. Some couples won't even get to experience the benefit of being able to really try to conceive because of this harsh reality, which is a constant reminder of brokenness for those experiencing it. The pain and anxiety that comes from a lack of reproductive health can be crippling.

And yet others, despite hormonal dysfunction and health issues, will experience the cyclical nature of infertility through conception itself (or recurring conception). These couples go on to lose their children (early, full term, or shortly after birth, and anywhere in between) either once or many times. If you know that we've experienced a loss (something we may or may not have the courage to share), know that we are grieving. It wasn't "just" a pregnancy or "just another" pregnancy that was lost; it was our living baby that died. And we are more likely to be traumatized by the cyclical nature of our infertility because of our losses. We do not get to choose that our cycles will mimic our losses. We are at the mercy of hope.

Our faith is tested. We ask God “why?”, we yell at Him; we draw closer to God and we push Him away. Mass brings us to tears more often than not and the season of Advent brings us to our knees. The chorus of “Happy Mother’s Day” that surrounds us at Mass every year will be almost more devastating than the blessing of mothers itself. We know that the Lord is trustworthy and that we can trust in Him; sometimes it is just a bigger task than we can achieve on our own.

Please…

* Pray for us. Truly, it is the best thing that anyone can do.

* Do not make assumptions about anything - not the size of a family or whether or not a couple knows what is morally acceptable to the Church. Most couples who experience infertility do so in silence and these assumptions only add to the pain. If you are genuinely interested, and not merely curious, begin a genuine friendship and discover the truth over time.

* Do not offer advice such as “just relax," “you should adopt," “try this medical option or that medical option” – or really give any advice. Infertility is a symptom of an underlying medical problem; a medical problem that often involves complicated and invasive treatment to cure.

* Do not assume that we will adopt. Adoption is a separate calling and should be discerned by every married couple irrespective of their ability to conceive biological children. Infertility does not automatically mean that a couple is meant to adopt.

* Do not assume that if we try to adopt that the process will be successful. Many adoption attempts fail and don't result in a couple receiving a child placement (temporarily or permanently). Some couples are flat out rejected from attempting to adopt by different agencies and governments. Just like adoption is an incredibly intrusive and emotionally charged issue that is part of a separate calling in the journey to "parenthood", it isn't always a possibility for infertile parents. Do not assume we can. And be gentle if we are trying. It's extra painful to be infertile and not be able to adopt. And we are likely so hurt that we can't bear to share the details with everyone.

* Ask how we are doing and be willing to hear and be present for the “real” answer. Often times we answer, “OK” because that’s the easy, “safe” answer. Let us know that you are willing to walk through this tough time with us. Frequently we just need someone who is willing to listen and give us a hug and let us know we are loved.

* Offer a Mass for us or give us a prayer card or medal to let us know you are praying for us. Just please refrain from telling us how we must pray this novena or ask for that saint’s intercession. Most likely we’ve prayed it and ask for the intercession daily. Please feel free to pray novenas and ask for intercession on our behalf.

* Be tolerant and patient. The medications we take can leave us at less than our best; we may not have the energy or ability to do much. Please also respect us when we say "no, thank you" to food or drinks. We may have restricted diets due to our medical conditions and/or medications.

* Share the good news of your pregnancy privately (preferably in an email or card or letter and not via text, IM chat, phone call or in person) and as soon as possible. Please understand that we are truly filled with joy for you; any sadness we feel is because we have been reminded of our own pain and we often feel horrible guilt over it as well. Please be patient and kind if we don’t respond immediately, attend your baby shower or don’t “Like” all of your Facebook updates about your children. Again, it is really about us, not you.

* Help steer group conversations away from pregnancy and parenting topics when we are around. We like to be able to interact in a conversation to which we can contribute meaningfully.

*Do not exclude us from your life because you think we may be uncomfortable. It is actually more painful to be left out because of the cross we're carrying, and we know that doesn't make a lot of sense to our families and friends. We will excuse ourselves from events or situations if we must, and please let us do so gracefully if the circumstance arises.

* Do not ask when we are going to “start a family” (we started one the day we got married).

* Do not ask which one of us is the “problem” – we are either fertile or infertile as a couple.

* Do grieve with us if you know that we've experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death (or many). You may not know what to say to comfort us, and that's ok. Let us grieve at our own pace and on our own schedule without guilt or explanations, even if we have living children. Do not offer platitudes for why you think it happened, how you think it's part of God's plan for us to suffer, or any number of things you think might have been wrong with the child. It was our living baby that died. Let us grieve, pray for us, and if you can, let us know you care by being there for us in our grief. Let us know that you remember that our baby lived, no matter how short of a life.

* Do not say things like "I know you'll be parents some day," or "It will happen, I know it will!" Along the same lines, please do not tell us stories of a couple you know who struggled for years and went on to conceive or to "just adopt and then you'll get pregnant" (this one actually only happens a small percentage of the time). Only God knows what our future holds, please pray with us that we are able to graciously accept His will for our lives.

* Do not pity us. Yes, we have much sorrow. Yes, we struggle. But, we place our faith in God, lean on the grace of our marriage, and trust that someday, whether here on earth or in heaven, we will see and understand God’s plan.

___________________________________________________

Because this topic is so difficult for so many women and men, the best thing our friends and family can do (and indeed strangers we encounter who may be aware of our struggles) is pray for us. We are grateful for those who offer their prayers and support in a gentle way. Your support is invaluable to us.

Lastly, remember that compassion means "to suffer with". We didn't sign up for this to happen. We can't control whether we overcome this. And we're doing our best to navigate the murky waters and maintain our sanity and our faith and our relationships with our family and friends through it all. We truly need your support and love to accomplish that. Please, please suffer with us and be Christ to us. No other understanding of our cross will be more merciful or more loving than if you put yourself in a situation to sympathize or empathize with us. The pain of infertility is exacerbated by the fact that it draws us into ourselves. We need your help to remind us in the most difficult moments that we aren't alone, God didn't forget us, and that we have something precious to offer through the fruitfulness of our marriage even when it isn't manifesting in the children we so desperately want to hold. Together, we can offer up our shared suffering for Christ. It's a powerful witness to both of our faiths to travel this road together and we'll manage it better with your help than if we have to travel it all alone. ***************************************************************************************


This post was made possible through the collaboration of 430 members of a "secret" facebook group of Catholic women and men struggling with the pains of infertility in all of its forms. Together we are stronger and in having the conversation, we are breaking the silence.


If you are Catholic and experiencing the pains of infertility and would like to join a "secret" facebook support group, please let me know and I will happily add you to our discussion."   E-mail me at: luckysunshine25 at gmail dot com.   This group is a great support network for me and many others with Infertility.. We pray for each other, we laugh, we cry, we are there as sisters in Christ for each other on this journey.  We would be happy to have you join us.



+Peace+

Peace of Mind

So I bit the bullet and made an appointment with a 'new' to me doctor.  I could have had an appointment the next day, but I had training at work. The next available was another day of training, so.. third choice May 8 it is.

As hubs said, don't get your hopes up.  I've had 2 of my doctors, not return calls/e-mails. People wonder why. I said, it has to be because I'm too much of a risk, no one wants the responsibility of recommending anything to someone with as many losses as mine. Hubs didn't want to believe that I'm too much of a risk, then he thought about it, in his business world and came back a couple days later, and said, you are right, I wouldn't take on something as "high" risk, of a job, like you. I can understand why the doctors won't, but at least call you back and tell you that.

So now I'm at the hunting and gathering stage. The scheduler at this office, said, oh just bring the last 2 or 3 years "stuff"  I asked to talk to a nurse, but wasn't given that opportunity.. So you know my hopes that this office is organized is dwindling. They actually want me to fax, all this stuff ahead of time.. I said, my chart is about 6" thick, can you be more specific what you want.  Again silence on the phone.  I also inquired why they couldn't pull all this off of their powerchart system.. She again was silent.. I said you know powerchart, where your doctors access all the charts from the hospital system.  Silence.  Well it would be easier if you fax it over..  hmmmp...

Well easier for me, is going to be you look at it over the system.

Trying to stay optimistic, but losing hope that doctors will have a plan for me.

Doing it for the Peace of mind..

tears

You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears
                                        
My hormones have been out of whack lately.  Is an understatement.

There have been a lot of tears, any little thing will send me into tears.

Last night, it was cuz hubs went to sleep before me. I don't sleep well most nights.. I have to be super tired to lay down. Sunday nights are the worst, the anxiety about work on Monday.

Day before, because I saw something that reminded me of my dad.
The day before it was something of David's.
Before that it was something of Andrew's.

Last week, it was of the flag I got in the mail. A retired flag from a military base overseas; my cousin in the air force sent. I coordinated and sent care packages to his unit.  I told him my dad is ( would have been ) so proud of him. IF you haven't seen American Sniper.. You need to see it, you'll see why I've been shedding tears.

Tears.. are good, tears are healthy, it shows we have feelings, shows we are compassionate, we are caring, we are loving. Tears are not bad.

Rant

Why is it that most of us IF ladies health insurance does not cover fertility treatments, or the evaluation for fertility issues.

Then you have stories like this family who use IUI & get inseminated with a ridiculous amount of embryos and they all take. . . . and just had Quints  she's been in the hospital for many many weeks.. all covered by INSURANCE. 

I guess my rant, if insurance won't cover the fertility treatment, why do they cover the result of the treatment.

Sign

I need a sign to come to me to help me ..

I'm totally stuck with doctors not returning my calls and or emails. 

I feel as if I'm too high a liability for them and they don't know how to politely tell me that. Just my thought none have outright said that. 

With that, at what point do you just, move on and find a new doctor? Trust me I don't want to start fresh with someone, but if no one wants to review me and get back to me, I have no choice. ( right/ wrong). I don't know how many chances I have to give them. 

I have referred patients to both doctors very recently & they have been wonderful about their care. So it just makes me wonder..again if I'm too much a risk they dont want to take. 

I'm waiting for a sign. 

Gardening on: a budget

Spring has Sprung!!

Daffodils are the first sign of spring in my yard. We have a bunch that come up in the woods. Best part about them, they come back year after year, with little to no effort on my part. They are an awesome pop of color after the long dull brown winter.

So many people know the business my husband is in, so they ask for lots of tips this time of year. Everyone is so over the winter blah's and is ready to spruce up their piece of the Earth.

What are the biggest constraints homeowners have in making their place what they want.
A) TIME
B) MONEY

I'm going to offer some suggestions for Spring on how to achieve some of your outdoor goals without breaking the bank. 

For the record, my experience is in the Midwest with hardiness zones 5-6. If you don't know what zone you are, you can look Here to find out.

Without breaking the bank tips:
Attend a Plant Swap -- They are generally held in the spring..when it is perfect time to divide up your perennials

Start from Seed- annuals  & veggies - ( not for everyone -- will take a while for color ) the Pro to this is seed packets are inexpensive.

Farmers Market finds  --I often find awesome deals at farmers markets.

Out of Season Perennials -- Once nursery stock is past it's prime, they usually discount the plants, because who wants to buy a shriveled up looking plant..  Yes I DO !  because it will be 75% off & come back next year looking perfect.   A nursery by me has what they call a "hospital area". I love looking to see what I can get a bargain on.

Craigslist or bartering sites- in our area, many people post things for free; including plants, rocks, and landscape materials, they are looking to get rid of, all you have to do is pick it up.

Help a neighbor in their yard; in exchange for some divided plants. ( hostas, daylilies, sedum, herbs, all divide up well ) I have a neighbor who I often help and she repays in plants that have overgrown their spot; or divides them up & gives me some.

Purchase bare root plants - less expensive than fully bloomed varities; the downfall, is you may not see the full potential of your labors, for another year.   Great tips on Planting bulbs  Packaged bulbs are less expensive than their expensive potted versions..

Construction site finds. I am always on the lookout for plants in the way of construction. **disclaimer** please be sure to ask before you dig, as you can be considered trespassing if you don't have permission. I've saved lilacs, daylilies, and hostas from the bulldozer.

Join a garden club. Gets you in touch with other gardeners, most gardeners like to share their plant species with other people.

Perennials  I try to use as many perennial plants as possible. Reserve annual plants for pops of instant color or places you can't plant flowers, like pots on a deck. Perennials come in many colors, and they come back year to year.

Every town has an inexpensive plant nursery. We drive about 45 minutes to a resonably priced plant nursery, that is well worth the drive. Prices are around 1/2 off the regular prices in my area. I never buy from the big box stores ( the orange place or the blue store ).. .. stuff is usually over priced; and generally not help in picking out selections there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So how have I put all these into action around my house.. My house, is like the shoemakers children, often neglected, bare-footed if you will. We really have not purchased a lot of plants around our house; partly because I hate to send good plants to the landfill.

So we have 3 foot egg rock borders on the rear of our house foundation; courtesy of rock that was going to go to the landfill. We purchased black diamond edging to finish it off.   rock is $$$ a ton.

On the shade side of our house, we have a border of Hostas, courtesy of a construction project where they were going to be tore out and disposed of.

On the sunny side of our house we have a border of daylilies courtesy of a church building project and they were not a part of the new design.

I have an herb garden, of plants from a plant swap.  Chives, Marjoram, Thyme, and Mint. I supplement it with annual herbs each year.

I have another garden started from bare root plants, raspberries, strawberries, hostas, roses, daylilies.

I have some various plants from my neighbor, when she divides or thinks I need some of her roots.

I keep room in my veggie garden area, for donations, until I find the perfect spot in my yard. I never refuse "free" plants. I always am willing to dig something up & share with a friend if needed too.




Next I will write about :
Most common thing people ask for: C O L O R    How do I add Color to my landscape.

Eternal Life

Today's readings and the post at Blessed is She are about Eternal Life.

Gospel: John 3:7-15
Do not marvel that I said to you, `You must be born anew.’ The wind blows where it wills, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know whence it comes or whither it goes; so it is with every one who is born of the Spirit.” Nicode’mus said to him, “How can this be?” Jesus answered him, “Are you a teacher of Israel, and yet you do not understand this? Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know, and bear witness to what we have seen; but you do not receive our testimony. If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you heavenly things? No one has ascended into heaven but he who descended from heaven, the Son of man. And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.”

 

~Whoever believes in him shall have Eternal Life~

 

 

We had several non-Catholic friends, after our sons funeral, comment about that specific line on his prayer card.   Not questioning did he make it there, but glad that we know he has reached Eternal Life. 

 

We are witness to and know our son has reached Eternal Life.  Some of us work a life time to reach that status. For some the road is shorter to Eternal Life.

 

 

 

 

 

Prayer for a stillborn child:

 

Lord God, ever caring and gentle,
we commit to Your love this little one,
quickened to life for so short a time.
Enfold him in eternal life.
We pray for his parents
who are saddened by the loss of their child.
Give them courage
and help them in their pain and grief.
May they all meet one day
in the joy and peace of Your kingdom.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

Basement transformation

So the long project I've been in charge of here, started in November.  Way back when, I was house-sitting for my grandma, while she was in Florida. At the time she was gone for 20 days; to check out her new place down there, do some cleaning, and relax.  

While she was gone, we had an early blast of sub-zero temps here.  Her house is 60 years old. The water valves on her house are going bad & hubs has been trying to get her to replace them.  We fear a catastrophe like, what happened. The outside faucet had a slow leak, which ended up freezing which ran for probably a good day; before I saw water on the inside. Recall at the time I'm 28 weeks pregnant & not supposed to be doing anything strenuous. She has a lot of stuff in her basement.

 

Some quick calls; got hubs over, he had to shut the water off with a big pipe wrench. Went & rented commercial water extractors. Called my sister & brother & a cousin to come over & start moving stuff to the garage.. Most everything thankfully in plastic totes. Ended up hiring movers to help evacuate all the big furniture quickly. The next week involved meeting with the insurance adjustor, professional mold remediation, and removing the moisture in the walls, . Then getting someone in to paint & shopping for carpet.

 

Wall damage (bubbling) and wet damp carpet. 

 

She found new carpet that she liked. The old carpet was blue. She picked out this nice darker brown carpet ( basement carpet, no padding, glued to the floor ) .. The carpet company came out to measure, and informed us that they could not install on the existing floor, because it was asbestos tile. They told her to call the insurance company back.. Which led to another adjustor visit, and 2 weeks of asbestos abatement. ( I was not around --aka health risks  )  Carpet install put on hold. Everything must be removed from basement.. ( EVERYTHING, cabinets, walls )

 

She left for Florida January 1. I assured her she would come back and it would be done at Easter..

Cabinets that were removed, were donated to Habitat -Restore.

 

So I had planned on spending maternity leave, relaxing while babysitting some contractors. Well life happened.. soo in February, with a new cabinet picked out & a layout made, we hired a contractor to install the cabinets, countertop & build a wall. Hubs was too busy to do it himself.

 

We did all the shopping & bought all the materials and had ready to go for the contractor come the end of February..

Took some time to purge all the nooks & crannies of her basement.. bye-bye old crusty paint cans from 1985  ( they were dry.

So first phase.. wall installed.

Moved all the remaining items.. to the other side of the basement. Clean slate..

Daffodil yellow, not my first choice of colors, but hey, not my basement.

Cabinets Dry fitted.   I then painted the walls ( our contractor only worked on weekends ) so I had a week to pain the walls .

I also decided to update the blue on the stairs.. & painted it the tan color ..

Getting ready for the carpet install to commence in March.

So the end of march I took a day off & watched the carpet contractor install.
Wish I could convince her to replace the wallpaper, but she loves it, so hey, it stays.

 

The pole in the middle is the color of the old carpet.. for now it's staying blue..

It doesn't look that out of place in person..

 

The yellow walls are growing on me.. still not my favorite. but.. again, not mine to choose.

The walls will mostly be covered by large objects.. so not that bold in person.

 

 

So while my brother & brother in law, were close by for Easter. I had them help carry down, the larger pieces of furniture.  Hubs & I , well mostly hubs, put together the 4 dining room tables..  This is as far as I am going with putting items back until she returns & we purge some more stuff.. ( her garage is still full of boxes of "stuff"  crafts, holiday stuff, ( every holiday under the sun )..

 

Finished cabinetry,, before carpet installed.

 So yeah, doesn't look like much, but it's what I've been up to since November.. so glad she returns in a week, to finish this up.. 

Genetics

I've only been diving into the whole genetics thing for a couple weeks, to see if it can lead us into some answers as to our losses.


Genetics:
The branch of biology that deals with heredity, especially the mechanisms of hereditary transmission and the variation of inherited traits among similar or related organisms.

We did 23 & me testing about 4 weeks ago. Hubs & I. 

See he was adopted as a baby.. closed. as was common in that day and age.  We have no family history, no genetics so to say to fall back on. 

Every time we've had a loss, they do a survey, with 100's of questions. Always is asked, what is your ethnic origin & most people assume.. just because of your "last name" that you are of xxxx origin.

Also in our pregnancy appointments, they ask questions about ethnicity, because of certain origins, having pre-dispositions to carry certain diseases.  ( we now know, that he is a % of an ethnicity that should have some further testing if we get pregnant again )  -- Don't get me started, why none of the doctors, suggested genetic testing before this, to find out origin, since we did not know it ...

Well we now know what his biological "origin" is ; but it is nothing close to what he was raised, and what he associates with.  He doesn't even like the food of his ethnicity. 

We've had some good talks about how you answer the question about what origin are you? When your name defines you as  XXX and you are YYYY..  Do you explain? Hubs will just go with what he has been.   Just because some chromosomes now say he's YYY.. doesn't mean he's not XXX..

I believe the traits he can be characterized by, are what he was raised with, not what some lab test says he is.   Heredity I feel is what you are passed down from your parents, how to act as a human, how to behave, how to love, Faith, how to treat others. That to me is not found in a petri dish.

HE is not disappointed with finding out what "origin" he is.  I will say, he does not wish to find out who is biological parents are; that will not change.  He was happy to know that by doing these tests, and knowing that the % he is of a certain ethnicity may answer some questions ; to loss..

Easter

We went to the 8am mass at the local mega church.  Seats 3000. Homily is short at big attendance masses, so they can get everyone in & out before the next one starts in an hour & 15 minutes. 

I love the days of smaller more intimate churches, where everybody knows everyone. 

When we go to this church, we usually attend the 8am mass. Little to no children attend. Makes it easier as an iF couple to attend. 

There is a cute "perfect " couple who come with their 2 1/2 yr old boy & 6 month old. They were wearing outfits very similar to what I had ready and waiting for David to wear for Easter. 

It was very hard!! I did shed a few tears when I saw them. I remember her looking 9 months pregnant, let's just say about her entire pregnancy. I how've never looked the least bit pregnant til about month 9.   I'm sure she'll be preg again soon. It's just one of the ones that stings. 

I try not to judge, i don't know their struggles. I know super fertility is a cross too. It just hurts to see the reminders each week. 

At Patricks day in this neck of the woods.

So how we celebrate St. Patrick's Day. 

 

Everything Green...

 

( treats made by our secretary at work )

 

 

Irish Celebration Cake --..  recipe HERE ..  it's very yummy.. but not too over the top..

 

Now if it were on a weekend, we'd be having.. Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes.. much boozier tasting.

 

 

Always a treat,, mint brownies.

 

 

And the wearing of a wee bit  O'Green

Jump

Well I got the nudge I needed last week & finally wrote my NaPro doctor.

So it was a long winded, very poorly written letter ( e-mail ). So I waited 3 days, didn't hear anything. I contacted my SIL who is an ob patient of his and goes to his church. she said oh that's not the e-mail She uses for him. So I re-sent using a new e-mail she gave me..  

Waited til this Tuesday, haven't heard anything, so I messaged my SIL again. She said call his nurse, also a friend of hers.. Sweet lady. 

So I call sweet nurse & leave a message. I just say, I'm not trying to rush or bother him, I just want to know it's in his inbox, after having a bad e-mail before ( old address). She called back. ( somber voice) yes he received your e-mail & will get back to you.  I assume her tone because she saw the email & the circumstances. That was yesterday.(Tuesday) 

I gave him a lot of info, and just a generalized question of do you think NaPro can do anything further for me.... ( Loaded question I know )  

I said I understand if you think i'm a huge liability & if I'm better to consult with Dr H, please let me know. I'll prepare all that stuff. I also listed the books I'm reading ( Dr. Collins ) and other information I've read online and that we just did 23 & me testing and are awaiting those results.

Today, for some reason, every time that e-mail notification dings on my phone. I JUMP. 

I am prepared to do anything. I will JUMP and do anything for another ++ test.

I have to prepare myself, that most everything will likely be on the same time frame as previous Due Dates. ( David & Andrew had due dates 2 days apart ).

The waiting is keeping me on my toes.