Forgiving vs Trust

This has been in draft, and worked on, revised for several weeks. Bear with me here.


How do you forgive someone for what they've done in the past, but trust them going forward?


This has been weighing heavily in our house lately, over issues in the past.




As Catholics we have this awesome thing called Confession.




Jesus Christ, in His abundant love and mercy, established the Sacrament of Confession, so that we as sinners can obtain forgiveness for our sins and reconcile with God and the Church. The sacrament “washes us clean,” and renews us in Christ.




So if you've made your confession you are good with God, but how do you make it right with your family and friends?




What types of sin(s) are we talking about.
Mortal sin is a deadly offense against God, so horrible that it destroys the life of grace in the soul. Three simultaneous conditions must be fulfilled for a mortal sin:
1) the act must be something very serious;
2) the person must have sufficient understanding of what is being done;
3) the person must have sufficient freedom of the will.




Venial sin are a lesser sin that does not result in a complete separation from God and eternal damnation in hell as an unrepented mortal sin would. A venial sin consists in acting as one should not, without the actual incompatibility with the state of grace that a mortal sin implies; they do not break one's friendship with God, but injure it.^[3




Before going to Confession you should make a review of mortal and venial sins since your last sacramental confession, and should express sorrow for sins, hatred for sins and a firm resolution not to sin again.


A helpful pattern for examination of conscience is to review the Commandments of God and the Precepts of the Church:

1. Have God and the pursuit of sanctity in Christ been the goal of my life? Have I denied my faith? Have I placed my trust in false teachings or substitutes for God? Did I despair of God's mercy?
2. Have I avoided the profane use of God's name in my speech? Have I broken a solemn vow or promise?
3. Have I honored every Sunday by avoiding unnecessary work, celebrating the Mass (also holydays)? Was I inattentive at, or unnecessarily late for Mass, or did I leave early? Have I neglected prayer for a long time?
4. Have I shown Christlike respect to parents, spouse, and family members, legitimate authorities? Have I been attentive to the religious education and formation of my children?
5. Have I cared for the bodily health and safety of myself and all others? Did I abuse drugs or alcohol? Have I supported in any way abortion, "mercy killing," or suicide?
6. Was I impatient, angry, envious, proud, jealous, revengeful, lazy? Have I forgiven others?
7. Have I been just in my responsibilities to employer and employees? Have I discriminated against others because of race or other reasons?
8. Have I been chaste in thought and word? Have I used sex only within marriage and while open to procreating life? Have I given myself sexual gratification? Did I deliberately look at impure TV, pictures, reading?
9. Have I stolen anything from another, from my employer, from government? If so, am I ready to repay it? Did I fulfill my contracts? Did I rashly gamble, depriving my family of necessities?
10. Have I spoken ill of any other person? Have I always told the truth? Have I kept secrets and confidences?
11. Have I permitted sexual thoughts about someone to whom I am not married?
12. Have I desired what belongs to other people? Have I wished ill on another?
13. Have I been faithful to sacramental living (Holy Communion and Penance)?
14. Have I helped make my parish community stronger and holier? Have I contributed to the support of the Church?
15. Have I done penance by abstaining and fasting on obligatory days? Have I fasted before receiving communion?
16. Have I been mindful of the poor? Do I accept God's will for me?

So you've gone to confession, confessed your sins, and the priest gave you a penance for your sin, how do you make it right with your family ? friends?   So what happens when you do the same thing again that you went to confession for, a short time after making the confession? You go again, and confess again? follow the same pattern ?


I'm having a tough time with someone close, who keeps repeating the same pattern over and over and over. I've learned to forgive this person. Trusting is another story. I believe this person will go to confession, but I don't have faith that this person won't do the same hurtful thing - again and again.


How do you begin to trust again ?  What does the sinner have to do to gain trust ?


What do you do to protect yourself/family from the sin ( again and again )?