Want

I get asked what I "want" a lot this time of year.

It's not only Christmas, but my birthday is very, very close to Christmas also. Some years, I have a list of things I might like, that I can suggest, but this year what I WANT, I can not have.

My family , have all asked, what do you WANT.  None of them have truly experienced anything I have had to. What I WANT is  really to be 34 weeks pregnant, uncomfortable, enjoying Advent, and waiting for my son to arrive, but instead I am here, barren, and up late at night thinking about him. My mother in-law, had the audacity to say, well if you don't tell me what you want, i'm going to get you probably some things you don't want. Got news for her, that will be nothing new. I have this area in the basement for the un"useful" gifts from the MIL.  So when I say there is nothing you can give me, that I want, I truly mean it. NO ugly sweaters for me, I have 100 pairs of socks already so please no more, I don't need any more gloves, I have only 1 pair of hands, please no cookies, candies or sweets, I'm gluten, dairy & soy free. Please no more kitchen towels, I have at least a dozen for every holiday, Hallmark sells cards for.

to my MIL: I am a very practical person, so no I don't want a $500 purse, nor do I want a velour jogging suit, nor the random xyz gift you found on the shelf at home.goods.  So when I tell you I want a hood vent for my stove, don't say, that's not a Christmas gift, accept the fact, that I am not like the rest of your children who live a caviar lifestyle on their beer budget. I realize to you Christmas is about fantasy gifts..  My fantasy is to be a mother, and to take a vacation with my husband. It's been 7 years since we have been able to leave our business for 7 consecutive days and relax and enjoy ourselves, preferrably on a beach somewhere tropical. ( a long weekend at the cottage with 20 other people is not relaxing in my book)

Things I won't say I would like, because I can't relinquish control over what style someone else might pick:  Area rug for Family room, wall art for family room, paint for kitchen, 10" saute pan, backsplash tile, black socks and underwear.  I would like a simple inexpensive pair of ice skates for the new outdoor ice rink, but don't want a lavish pair like they would get.

So yeah back to what I want, simply a baby.. so if you could have a healthy one delivered in about 9 months, i'd appreciate that.