What is your thoughts, opinions, 2 cents worth ; on second marriage, showers.
My SIL is getting married for the second time. Her first marriage she was 20 when she got married, had the big wedding, shower, and baby shower 9 months later.
She got divorced 5 years later. Shortly after her divorce her ex-husband, died.(suicide). So all their belongings (that she wasn't granted in the divorce. Became her daughters property.) So basically she sold it all. She had to move home, and live with her parents.
She met a guy, and is engaged the wedding is in 3 months.
Her 9 year old daughter is her maid of honor. (Not sure why, none of her BFF'S are in the wedding).
We received an invite from my MIL for a party for them, (couple shower).
Now, I know I will be blacklisted if I don't come with a gift for them. But does it seem fair, to play into her new fantasy world. We've met the fiance only like 3 times.
I don't typically do second marriage showers but since first husband is deceased it is technically valid. I would go with a gift card to a grocery store. They have to eat right? You can tell them it's to fill up their pantry. Worst case you can think of it as feeding your niece. Maybe wrap it in a cereal saver or something small and kitchen-y as well so it doesn't look like "just a gift card." Which is taboo in my family but maybe not in yours.
ReplyDeleteI think you have to go. Sometimes it's better to just go along with the crazy so that you don't end up looking like the one everyone should be annoyed with.
ReplyDeleteI think you should go. It is hard to say if this is her new fantasy land or a solid marriage. I have seen marriages all 'kosher' failing miserably and on the other hand I have seen very unlikely couples lasting even through hard struggles. Only time will tell but meanwhile you can share into their newly found hope for the future.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you have to break the bank, but whether it's fair or not, my inclination would be to go in this case.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure what qualifies this as "her new fantasy world". Maybe I am missing something? (And I am not being snarky). I am not sure if they are getting married in a Catholic Church, but for all intents and purposes this sounds like it is a valid wedding because the former husband is deceased so no annulment needed on her end at least. Sounds like it could be a much needed fresh start and what a blessing now for your niece to have the opportunity to grow up in a two-parent home. Personally, I would go and bring a gift, but like I said, maybe I am missing something.
ReplyDeleteyes much of the back story was left out. I guess the easy way to say is we see this going down the same road as marriage #1.
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