Doctor Follow up.

We had our 6 week follow up with our OBGYN today.  We were to go over all the tests results run after the stillbirth of our son Andrew.

To sum it up simply we do not have any concrete causes for his early birth.

What we do know is Genetically he was boy with the correct # of chromosomes.
All the blood work on me came back with nothing wrong; no blood clotting, no crazy blood disorders, he was able to come back & tell me that at some time in my lifetime I had something ( that sounds like Mono ) but as long as I don't have it while I'm pregnant it's ok.

Testing on the placenta was not back yet.. he was bummed that it was super slow too. We are happy we did not have a placental abruption. Which is another common cause for stillborn. If a placental abruption happens, it is almost 99.9% fatal to the baby, because the baby looses his lifeline to mom.
The placenta tests may key us into infection of the baby or infection in me.

We won't have an explanation of why my water broke early.. & I think we have accepted that fact.
** to clarify** with my son Andrew's birth, my amniotic sac completely ruptured, at his gestation(21 weeks) it was not repairable, and he was not matured enough to survive outside the womb. Had it been a pinhole type leak/or a slow leak, I could have been put on bedrest, fluids, and they can in most cases repair themselves.

Our doc has consulted with two other doctors and they want me to have a consult w/ the local Maternal/Fetal doctor, for a pre-conception consultation, to make sure they are not missing anything.  I am awaiting a call from their office to schedule an appointment.

I need to start charting ( yeah I'm on CD3 ) yeah AF arrived already.. I was kinda hoping she might stay away for a while. Considering I had Lochia bleeding for 3 weeks. then milk tried to come in, now this.. I just want a break !  Charting to determine if I ovulate on my own.

He asked if we can avoid TTC for the next 60 days..

He talked with us about how we are emotionally doing. like did we name him, did we have a funeral, etc. He was happy that we were doing well emotionally. He was very appreciative that we sent him a Thank you" for St. Luke's feast day. He said what I wrote him in the card, tells him that WE are doing better than most.

We talked about what a Next Time scenario might look like. Simply.. Lots of Ultrasounds! He said we could have them almost weekly if it makes us feel better. ( probably wont' cuz i'll go broke doing that )  He said as soon as we find out we are pregnant, we can come in immediately for one(which his office has never let me do, they always made me wait)  and for sure from 12-20 we will be weekly . The theory is I have a incompetent cervix, which with weekly monitoring will show us when it gets shorter and then at that point, I will get a circlage ( little stitch as he likes to say ) to keep it closed. *Insert my research, could lead to bed rest, or time off of work. We have to talk & decide if this is how we see our pregnancy going & if we can physically, emotionally, financially afford me to be laid up potentionally for 4-5 months.

We had a long talk about the Maternal Fetal specialist we saw in the clinic the day Andrew was born. I asked if there was someone else we could see. He asked why, he was the "best'. I said well in our book, when he offers us an Abortion as his best form of care, that's not who we want caring for us. He asked us to recount the conversation w/ him & both my husband & I said recalled that his exact words were, to best handle this we can take you up for an Abortion right now &  you can be on your way home later. My doctor was shocked. He said this doc doesn't do selective reductions, or reductions for genetic abornmalities. We both said, the ultrasound tech was even shocked & turned away too. We both said, this guy never told us our child was still alive & still had a heart beat, but we both know that would be the only reason for him to mention abortion.  I told our doctor, that this haunts me still, that this 'expert'  wanted us to choose to let him kill our son.  Thankfully we know better & told him absolutely no. I had my chart in hand, when I went to see this specialist, & I read the first page of my chart. In big bold letters it said : HYPNOBIRTHING Patient  and PRO-LIFE. So why this guy suggested this as the "best" care will boggle my mind for days. My doctor deeply apologized for the specialists lack of sensitivity & proper use of medical terminology. Needless to say, we are seeing a different MF specialist for our pre-conception consult.

This lead to a discussion about the medical terminology used by the doctors. Our doctors wanted us to be prepared for other people that might care for us & them not using pro-life friendly medical terminology. He said in medical world the patient friendly word is miscarriage, but in medical land it is called an abortion; wheter spontanious , missed, or elective.  I said yes we know that, but willingly killing our living child was not appropriate, nor acceptable to us. He again apologized.

So another question we had was who would be our care provider if we get pregnant again, our doc said as long as things progress "normally" we would continue w/ him. He could do the circlage if necessary. The only reason I would have to see the MF specialist is if I develop gestational diabetes, develop pre-eclampsia or go into labor early. Our docs hospital does not have a NICU, so we can' t deliver a preemie there.

I go back in 2 months to look at charts, see if i've ovulated & discuss medications.

Thanks for all your prayers.  I do feel our appointment went well, we got ample time to ask all our questions & discuss all our concerns.